The Perfect Mother

An Angel kissed my cheek today,
He said "I love you Mom, I'm ok." 
At first I thought I was dreaming,
Until I saw a bright light beaming.

I heard him whisper in my ear,
I've come to get a few things clear.
I know you worry you did something wrong,
I know how hurt your heart is Mom.

I see your tears when others do not,
I hear over and over your same thought. 
You think somehow, some way or another,
you should have been a better mother.

Please feel my presence here today.
Please believe me when I say,
For me there could be no other.
For me YOU are the Perfect Mother!

Don't you remember? Don't you see?
I chose you and you chose me!
Remember Mom, we chose together.
Our perfect love will last forever!

My Son, My Angel.... Steven 

1983 - 2015

I am changed... forever. I'm carving out my 'new normal' moving forward in a world without two of my best friends... my children. Steven and Shaniel.

Life is not the same as I remember it not so long ago. It's different without children you bore, raised, and loved their entire lives. Just under 3 years apart, both were 32 years of age at the time of passing. Both left small families behind (my son, his wife). And a grieving mother. A father. And siblings. Countless family members and friends. My heart has been shattered for the second time in less than 3 years. Not everyone will understand who reads this... but someone, somewhere... just may. My heart goes out to them.

In any given moment, the reality of losing two children will hit me like a freight train and leave me feeling broken... both body and soul. I am left wondering how can I go on? It's FAITH !  One simple word whispers quietly, yet with conviction, in my ear... and, with courage and new strength, I pick myself up and carry on. It's in our Savior's atonement that I find peace, comfort, hope, faith, healing, forgiveness, and love. And I know my two precious children... my Angels, are able to do the same. Perfect Love binds us together. Perfect Love is eternal. And I am forever changed.

...until we meet again.

Six Word Fridays: Purple

Purple was her very favorite color.

How ironic that the color purple

also represents "Domestic Violence Awareness" month. 

Purple roses placed ever so gently 

and reverently on her casket... reminding 

us that life is, indeed, precious. 

Purple was her favorite color. 

And now reminds me everyday... of 

her presence, her grace, her laughter

and more. Memories of sweet Shaniel

are lasting and eternal... kept near

my heart. And what joy it 

will be when we reunite and 

begin again where we left off.

We'll hug and shed tears of 

joy... and reminisce about the days

on earth. But knowing her it 

won't last long. We'll be off 

in a flash to explore the 

beyond.... just like we used to

sweet daughter of mine. Love you! 

We lost Shaniel February 10, 2013 from an act of domestic violence. Her husband killed her.

Shaniel was a nurse by profession and a loving mother of four beautiful children. 

After her funeral, at the graveside, each of her co-workers placed a purple rose on her casket and gave a beautiful tribute. It reads...

Nursing is a calling, a lifestyle, a way of living. Nurses and co-workers here today honor Shaniel and her life as a nurse. Shaniel is not remembered by her years as a nurse, but by the difference she made during those years by stepping into people's lives and caring whole heartedly for her patients.

When a calming, quiet presence was all that was needed, she was there...

In the excitement and miracle of birth or in the mystery and loos of life, she was there...

When a silent glance could uplift a patient, family member or friend, she was there...

At those times when the unexplainable needed to be explained, she was there...

When the situation demanded a swift foot and sharp mind, she was there...

When a gentle touch, a firm push, or an encouraging word was needed, she was there...

To witness humanity - it's beauty, in good times and bad, without judgement, she was there...

To embrace the woes of the world, willingly and offer hope, she was there...

And now, that it is time to be at the Greater One's side, she is there...

Shaniel, we honor you this day and give you a white rose to symbolize our honor and appreciation for being your nursing colleague. We love and miss you.

In memory of Shaniel 

March 4, 1980 - February 10, 2013

Six Word Fridays: Precious

Who doesn't love the rain and

puddles and the innocence of kids!

Ben had a short, but precious

conversation with his mother about the

things that matter most in life.

Puddles, Rain, and Creator of all.

Ben: "Mom, does it make Jesus happy when it rains so we can jump in puddles?"

Mommy: "I'm sure it makes Jesus happy when you jump in puddles!"

precious