This is my FB profile picture.
It is a picture of my children and I.
The picture is close to my heart for several reasons. First of all... it's the only professional picture I have of myself and my children as adults.
The picture was taken in April of 2014 at beautiful Temple Square in Salt Lake City. The picture I am holding is of my third child, and third daughter. I was sad that I could only hold her picture. Her husband took her life, the year before, on February 10, 2013.
The story of how this picture came to be began a year before my daughter, Shaniel, was taken from us. I kept having this nagging feeling that I needed to get a family photo of my children and I. I didn't know why, but it seemed to be a pressing matter on my mind.
In my mind's eye, I envisioned where we would have the picture taken and what we would be wearing. I wanted my girls and I dressed in white tops and muted skirts in a variety of patterns and colors. My son would wear a white shirt and jeans and we would be posed in a wheat field. Just west of where we live, in West Corinne where a daughter lives, you can see wheat fields as far as the eye can see. They seem endless. In the autumn time the wheat becomes mature and is ready to harvest. The fields are on fire with gold! The golden wheat waves back and forth in gentle breezes. It is so beautiful! I couldn't think of a better way to see my children every day. This was going to be the year for pictures! But because my youngest daughter was expecting her fourth baby and he was due at the end of the year, we decided to postpone plans to have pictures taken until the next fall. We had no way of knowing that by then it would be too late. Shaniel would be gone.
In my mind's eye, I envisioned where we would have the picture taken and what we would be wearing. I wanted my girls and I dressed in white tops and muted skirts in a variety of patterns and colors. My son would wear a white shirt and jeans and we would be posed in a wheat field. Just west of where we live, in West Corinne where a daughter lives, you can see wheat fields as far as the eye can see. They seem endless. In the autumn time the wheat becomes mature and is ready to harvest. The fields are on fire with gold! The golden wheat waves back and forth in gentle breezes. It is so beautiful! I couldn't think of a better way to see my children every day. This was going to be the year for pictures! But because my youngest daughter was expecting her fourth baby and he was due at the end of the year, we decided to postpone plans to have pictures taken until the next fall. We had no way of knowing that by then it would be too late. Shaniel would be gone.
Shaniel's death was devastating to our family. We were numb. She was no longer here and we had to find a way to live without her. Yet... we wanted so much to keep her alive... in our hearts and in our minds.
Several months after Shaniel's passing, my oldest daughter saw an ad from a professional photographer that wanted to give away a photo shoot to a deserving family. It was called "Images of Hope". All they asked was to send in a story.... we called it "Shaniel's Story." It wasn't long before we were contacted by the photographer with the news that our family would be his special photo shoot. Our story... "Shaniel's Story" was posted to his facebook page and our photo shoot was set up. The wonderful thing about this story is that it was a complete surprise to me. It was a gift of love to me from my oldest daughter.... and a priceless gift of service from the photographer. I will be forever grateful for this wonderful gift.
Several months after Shaniel's passing, my oldest daughter saw an ad from a professional photographer that wanted to give away a photo shoot to a deserving family. It was called "Images of Hope". All they asked was to send in a story.... we called it "Shaniel's Story." It wasn't long before we were contacted by the photographer with the news that our family would be his special photo shoot. Our story... "Shaniel's Story" was posted to his facebook page and our photo shoot was set up. The wonderful thing about this story is that it was a complete surprise to me. It was a gift of love to me from my oldest daughter.... and a priceless gift of service from the photographer. I will be forever grateful for this wonderful gift.
For our photo shoot, we chose a beautiful backdrop of spring tulips on Temple Square. The LDS temple, a beacon of hope and light, provided a stunning dimension of white stone and beautiful stained glass windows. Majestic spires reach heavenward, as if to say... "look up!" There is a greater power that whispers peace, hope, faith, and love.
It was a beautiful day. Just my children and I. We held each other close and basked in the beauty and peace that the temple grounds graciously bestowed upon us. Our day was filled with wonderful and treasured memories of family togetherness... memories of Shaniel... and gratitude for a loving God in heaven that was ever mindful of our pain and heartache.
We ate at a favorite nearby restaurant and laughed until we cried... from telling stories that only "our family" would understand. We shared a bond that day that can never be broken. We left with another lasting and treasured memory of a day that only heaven can shower down upon you.
Days and months have passed. The path to healing has been lit with heaven's light. Faith, hope, and love have showered us with the Lord's tender mercies and has given us courage to move forward with peace in our heart's and in our soul's. Angels have been round about us. We are never alone. We are so grateful for the blessings of heaven.
The photo has been a treasured and priceless gift. But for some reason I could not get the picture of our family, in a wheat field, out of my mind. The image in my head finally led me to a local artist who would create a painting of Shaniel in an open field of wheat in a flowing white dress. In the painting she has her arms out-stretched... as if embracing the life beyond mortality. She is happy. She is at peace. I have this painting hanging in my bedroom in a place that when I wake up in the morning, it's the first thing I see. It is so beautiful and brings calmness and tranquility to my soul.
A year and a half later, my son... my only son, would also leave this earthly life. Another devastation to our family would seem impossible to bear. Then... the quiet re-assuring whisperings, that only the comforter can bring, reminds me, once again, to hang on! Have hope. Have faith. Look up! Look toward the light. I do! Everyday.
I can't think of a better treasure than the picture of my children and I together. It is a visual reminder of the tender memories, the laughter, the fun, the challenging, and even the sad... that kept us together as a family. Never to be broken. Not in life and not in death. Never!
A year and a half later, my son... my only son, would also leave this earthly life. Another devastation to our family would seem impossible to bear. Then... the quiet re-assuring whisperings, that only the comforter can bring, reminds me, once again, to hang on! Have hope. Have faith. Look up! Look toward the light. I do! Everyday.
I can't think of a better treasure than the picture of my children and I together. It is a visual reminder of the tender memories, the laughter, the fun, the challenging, and even the sad... that kept us together as a family. Never to be broken. Not in life and not in death. Never!
Inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop
