Sweet Remembrances of Home

We're all born into a family. By the time I entered the picture I had a dad, mom, sister, and a brother. We would add two more sisters and one more brother to make our family complete. When I look back on all the memories of home and my childhood, I contribute all the sweet remembrances to two people.... Mom and Dad.

My parents brought their children into the world with a purpose. To love, guide, teach, nurture, and provide experiences that would allow for growth, exploration and creativity. They came together and brought unique characteristics from their families. They brought some traditions and created some of their own that have been and continue to be a part of my life, my children's lives, and now my grandchildren's lives. 

Memories of home and my childhood have etched deep in my heart and soul and have shaped me into the person I am today. My parents are gone now, but I hope they are looking down from the heavens with pride and like the person I am becoming... much because of them.

My dad was full of adventure. He was a biologist and big game manager for Utah State Fish and Game. He was one of those rare dad's. He actually took his family to work when he could. We spent our summer months in the mountains camping, riding horses, and playing games like kick the can. Dad took us canoeing, fishing, hunting, and counting deer. And he planned big excursions of river rafting when we got older. Us kids didn't think it was work at all! 

It was not unusual for dad to bring home animals that needed rescued until they could be taken to a place of rehabilitation. He also had a soft, tender side and taught his children to love and respect all God's creatures and the world we live in.

Dad taught his family how to be part of a team. We worked together and played together. That was what families did! We planted a garden, raised animals to care for and eat, sang silly songs as we traveled, and slept under the stars listening to the call of coyotes. So many adventures and the list could go on and on and on...  

Mom also loved the outdoors, but her heart was in her home, surrounded by her children. She was an excellent manager of home. Our house seemed to shine with cleanliness and truth! She taught her girls how to make beds, dust, clean the bathroom, wash dishes, vacuum, hang clothes on the line, bottle fruits and vegetables, and sew clothes. 

Mom was a beautiful woman. I never saw her without her lipstick on. She loved flowers and pretty things. Mom made us barbie couches and chairs and clothes. And then played with us! She made every birthday and occasion a holiday. She created magic in the simple things... like losing a tooth. Christmas, Easter, and every holiday throughout the year was so magical and memorable. Us kids may not have recognized it at the time, but great care and thought was put into every single holiday... from home decorations and displays to matching clothes and perfectly arranged gifts. I completely adore my mother. 

Both my father and mother worked together to give their children opportunities to learn skills and talents. They bought apartment buildings and rented them out. We picked seed together as a family to earn money for extracurricular activities. And the list goes on...

With dedication and hard work as a family and the foresight and wisdom of great parents, us kids were able to participate in dance, baton twirling, piano lessons, playing in school band, sports, 4-H, and other worthy endeavors.

My parents told us "you can be anything you want to be!" And... I always believed that!

Most importantly, my parents taught their children truth. The truth about God, about making right choices, about service, and love for each other and all people. 

From my dad, I take away sweet remembrances of adventure, hard work, tenderness, love and respect for nature, service, and what it means to lead a family.

From my mom, I take away sweet remembrances of home, love of family, magic in the simple things, beauty, compassion, and service. 

Is it any wonder that I enjoy and teach my family the same things. 

          Inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

I am a Pioneer!

We often think of a Pioneer as an ancestor who joined the church in a far away land, sailed across the seas, and made the trek across the plains to the Rocky Mountains with other saints. Their journey was long and hard. It took great courage and faith. It took determination, commitment, and sacrifice. Their journey was not without trial and tribulation. Many faced hunger, exposure, and death. Yet, they came! Our ancestors paved the way through an unknown territory in order for us, their posterity, to enjoy the lives we have today. How grateful I am for those faithful ancestors!

The Pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake Valley on July 24th, 1847. That was 168 years ago today. Once our ancestors arrived in the Salt Lake Valley, they toiled and labored with all their might to build up Zion. It would not take long for the desert to, indeed... "blossom like a rose."

With all the modern advances of today, we wonder if we could ever be a Pioneer. The answer is "yes!" Every day presents an opportunity to be a Pioneer. So what is a Pioneer? "If you are the first, you are a Pioneer."

Familysearch.org issued a challenge to share how we are a Pioneer today. As I thought about my life, it took me back to a time that posed trials and hardship on every end, but also opened up many wonderful opportunities for growth as I maneuvered through unknown territory.

My Pioneer story is dedicated to my father, who was also born on Pioneer day... July 24, 1928. He was my inspiration!

My father was the first member of, not only his immediate family, but also extended family, to receive a college education. He was a Pioneer. As a child I often went to the bookcase and looked at the book he had written from his college days. I would pick it up with wonder and awe at the vast knowledge that was contained in the thickest book I had ever seen. It was then that the seeds of education were planted in my mind.

However, the opportunity to attend college never came until I found myself in the most difficult of circumstances in my life. After 12 years of marriage, it was over. I suddenly found myself alone to take care of five small children. I had two choices. Either curl up in a corner and watch the world go by, or do something about it. I chose to do something about it! With the encouragement of loving parents, I headed off in a direction that would change mine and my children's lives forever. School!

I moved my family to Logan, UT and started an adventure that took me into unknown territory. It was hard raising five small children alone, attending college full time, and working part-time. My ward became my family. How grateful I was for them. My journey was long and hard. It took great sacrifice, commitment, and determination. It took faith and courage. I had many trials and hardships along the way that left me wanting for the simple days I once knew. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, when the children were safely tucked into bed. Prayer was my lifeline to press forward with faith. I knew my Father In Heaven loved me and was mindful of our needs. I persisted in achieving my goal to graduate from college with a degree that would afford me the opportunity to care for my family.

Five years later, in 1995, I graduated with a B.S. degree in FACS Education and a minor in Nutrition. I re-married my last year of school. Four years later, I earned my M.S. degree and was able to fulfill a life-long dream of becoming a county Extension Agent for USU. As I placed my own book upon the library shelf, thoughts instantly took me back to dad's book that I used to admire with awe and wonder. And now... I could add mine to it!

My brothers followed in dad's footsteps and earned college degrees. All of my sisters started college. They married and started their families, never finishing.

I went to college under the most difficult of circumstances and I finished. I am a Pioneer! I was the first girl in my family to accomplish this. When I look back and think about all the hardships and trials during that time in my life, my heart swells with gratitude in spite of them. Not only for the growth I experienced along the way, but for the opportunities that opened up. Mostly I am grateful that I showed my children the way... that even when sore trials come upon them... they can choose to stay faithful and committed. They, too, can be a Pioneer!

And thank you dad... for showing me the way. Happy Birthday!

Dad's (Jim Bates) graduation from USU, 1959

That's me (Carol) in my mother's arms

We all have a Pioneer story. Please share your's in the comments.

See the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing "Come, Come, Ye Saints" to an inspiring video at http://www.mormontabernaclechoir.org/videos/come-come-ye-saints-mormon-tabernacle-choir.html?

Home... at last!

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." -- Maya Angelou - Now Write

childhood home

When I look back on my life and think of home, I feel gratitude in my heart... because... home was a place of peace, of refuge, of love, and acceptance. 

My father was thrifty and resourceful. He never liked debt. So, it seemed as if we were always living in a state of improving and remodeling. But somehow that didn't bother me. It was a "normal" way to live because that is what I knew. The constant remodel didn't take away the spirit that emulated in and around home. I knew my parents loved me.

Mom and dad taught us kids what it meant to be a family. We worked together, played together, worshiped together, ate together, and everything else together.  

There is no one right way to raise a family successfully, but my parents took their parenting seriously and tackled each problem that came up with thought, prayer, and good old-fashioned guidance and disciplining. Somehow that worked for the most part. 

I was the middle child and was pretty much a peacemaker. I have been my entire life. But, that didn't mean I didn't throw some curve balls at my parents. As a teenager I didn't always make the right decisions and I know it caused a lot of grief and heartache for them. But mom and dad did everything possible to encourage me to make good choices. They loved me. They accepted me for who I was. I felt safe with them. 

I married my high school boy friend against my parents wishes. They could see things I couldn't. And... it would only take ten years after being married, with five children of my own, to understand their wisdom. And, I came to know what true love really means. My home... my parents... where they were, became a life-long place of refuge from many fierce storms that beat upon me.

My parents home in my adult years

Divorce was hard... really, really hard. I cried many tears. My heart was broken. Completely broken. But I had home! I had my parents. They loved me. They loved me and my five beautiful children. They allowed me to come home. They listened to me. They cried with me. They encouraged me... to carry on, to make good decisions for the future. They became guidance counselors once again. They picked up the pieces of my emotional wreck of a life. 

I had many talks with my father. I will never forget what he told me one day.... "Carol, you can do anything and become anything you want in life!" He was positive. He was supportive. Both mom and dad became my biggest cheerleaders. I moved 3 hours away from home to go to school. It was hard with five children and being all alone in a new place. But... I had mom and dad! They were only a phone call away when I needed them. Most weekends, I would load the car with kids and luggage and head for home. Home to my parents. Home to my sisters... who were and still are, anchor's in the storms of life. 

My first marriage was blissful... until it crashed. My second marriage a challenge. Blended families take so much work, and I wonder if there is such a thing as a successful blend... Really. 

Home... my parents, still continued to be a place of refuge during difficult and trying periods of my second marriage. I don't know how they did it... watching me over the course of a couple decades struggle with things that didn't need to be so hard... had I made better decisions the first time around! The only way I can explain it... is love. Pure unconditional love.

Yes... I've made my life harder than what it needed to be. But, I've grown. I've grown a lot. I have more confidence, more faith, more experience, more appreciation, more wisdom, more understanding. I've made good and worthy goals and have accomplished them. I have a beautiful family and lots of energetic and talented grandchildren that fill my life with joy and happiness. My life is full of so many blessings! 

My parents passed away before I lost my daughter from an act of domestic violence in 2013. My mother only a year previously. It was very hard not to have them to go home to. But I'd like to think... just maybe all the hard knocks of life, unconditional love and Christ-centered teaching from my parents, support from family and friends, and faith... saw me through and continues to do so. Eventhough my parents were no longer here on earth...

THIS I DO KNOW... They were there to get Shaniel at the time of her passing. They were there to take my sweet daughter home. Their granddaughter. Home to heaven. Home to live with them. Home to take her in as their own. Home to comfort and guide her. Home to listen to her. Home to love and bless her. Home to help heal her broken heart. Home... where she is surrounded by family, peace, beauty, and unconditional love. She is HOME! She is safe at last! How much more comfort can I receive than this!

I love my parents! Not only did they provide a loving and safe HOME for me... but they did for my children... as they now do for Shaniel. For this I am eternally grateful.

To see how we celebrated Shaniel's Angelversary, February 10th, click on Shaniel's Story or the tab above.

This post was hosted by

Mama Kat's Pretty Much Famous Writer's Workshop.

Six Word Fridays: late blooming

Dad's Christmas cactus usually blooms in 

December. I arrived back home from 

Europe in mid January... and you

can imagine how surprised I was

that my Christmas cactus was late

in blooming! It had waited until

I got back home to burst

out in the most beautiful vivid

pink blooms I had ever seen!

Must have been dad behind the

scenes... welcoming his daughter safely home!

I had a glimpse into heaven 

that day, feeling all dad's love

as he keeps watch over me!

late

July 24

I'll be celebrating today!

On July 24th,1847, the pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley and made it home. I am lucky enough to be a descendant of those courageous and faithful pioneers. They made the long 1300 mile plus trek by handcarts and wagons, from Illinois to Utah. Brigham Young's famous words... "this is the right place" affirms my own sentiments. This is home. I love it here. It is the right place!

It's also my dad's birthday. He has passed away, but we continue to celebrate and remember his life with the long standing tradition of lighting sparklers atop a cake.

I'll be watching the Days of 47 Parade. The days of watching it in person are behind me. I'll be sitting in my big, soft comfy armchair in my air conditioned house, in the theater room if I please! The temperature today will be slightly over 100 degrees. Hot! It is one of the largest parades in the nation. There are no advertisements. Just good old fashioned floats, marching bands, horses and covered wagons. All centered around a pioneer theme. I look forward to watching it every year, seeing all the old photos of parades past, and listening to stories of the early pioneers.

I'll have a BBQ with a couple of my children and their youngsters. We look forward to Green River watermelon and corn on the cob this time of year. Yummmm.

I'll play with the grandkids, watch them run around the yard twirling sparklers, and relish in the thought of how lucky I am to be their grandmother.

I'll reflect on all the good things I have in my life and call it a day. And it will be a very good day!

I can't think of anything I would rather do today. But if I could, I would wish my dad here on his birthday so I could listen to his wild and adventurous stories and jokes, laugh a bunch, and tell him how much I love and miss him.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Happy Pioneer Day!

Writing prompt #1: 9 things you'd rather be doing today.

Hosted by 

Mama Kat's Pretty Much Famous Writers Workshop

Late blooming

I went to Europe last October and didn't get back until the middle of January this year. Before I left, I gathered all my house plants and placed them on the large kitchen island to make it easier on the kids when they came up to water them. I left the blinds on the kitchen widow open. And with the two story windows and west window blinds open, there was enough sunlight to keep the plants happy enough. So I thought!

My lovely Christmas cactus -- actually it was my dad's that I inherited after both he and my mother passed away, must have been unhappy that I was not home during the Christmas season. It usually blooms the month of December, so you can imagine my surprise when I came home the middle of January to see that my Christmas cactus had not bloomed.

I trimmed and removed unwanted leaves from each plant. I placed them in their rightful place. I put my prized Christmas cactus back on it's stand in the library.

A couple of days went by, and then... to my pleasant surprise, the most beautiful, vivid, pink blooms I had ever seen, burst forth on my Christmas cactus. It was like it was shouting for joy... "hooray, she's home!" And the blooms just kept coming day after day! Oh... happiness! That was the most beautiful and warm welcome home I could have ever asked for. And, it seemed to sense that. On those cold, gray winter days, I was reminded of how much beauty and color there is in the world in every season.

My Christmas cactus was late in blooming. In it's simple decision to wait for me, I received a beautiful message on love!  My plant knew that I would need the beauty of its blooms when I returned in the middle of winter. It waited patiently. Never questioning that it would be blooming late. It went against its natural timeline. Just to bring me happiness!

Who says that plants don't know their owners! Who says that plants don't know their place in your home! Plants have feelings, just like us! They thrive when they are loved and cared for. They bloom when they want to show you how much they love you. They give in return what we give them. 

I love my Christmas cactus! Dad's gift to me. And... I even wonder if dad had something to do with it blooming late this year! Either way, I know that they both love me! And I love them!

Writing prompt #4: Write a blog post inspired by the word: late

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Books

I have some books, or rather treasures. A history that great grandmother Richardson wrote and a history that her grandson, my father- Jim Bates, wrote. Mother's is in the making now, and there are many other ancestors that have left behind life sketches and journal writings that give me a clue to who they are and how I fit into the family. I feel very blessed to have them. I also feel it a duty and a privilege to do the same. I am working on it. My children, my grandchildren, my great grandchildren will know me... really know me. As they turn the pages one by one to reveal my life story, as I have seen it and lived it, they too, will recognize their own faces in mine.

My father said it best....

Write one experience at at time. A birth certificate proves you were born. A personal history proves you lived - really lived. A pedigree chart proves your ancestors lived. A family history proves that they lived and because of them - you are now alive.

My face is really not mine alone. It was not shaped by my victories or defeats, joys or sorrows alone, but was designed before I ever drew a living breath. It began with my great grandfather, grandmother - or was it their parents - or theirs? I'm made up of a peculiar blend of an ancestral reservoir - little bit of him, a touch of her!

As I look at and examine my life I look for the best, the glorious, because glorious things have happened. That doesn't mean I have to leave out the heart aches and the heart breaks, somehow there's something glorious in every event.

                                                                                            -Jim Bates 

I come from an ancestry line of good writers. Their personal stories are full of color, adventure, wisdom, humor, and inspiration to do better, live better. There are examples to learn from. Faith to build on. I hope in time, my posterity is able to say the same thing about their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. And, in turn, I hope it inspires them to write, too!

Fall is Here!

What better way to celebrate Fall than doing some of my favorite things. I will call it my

Fall Bucket List

1. Carve jack-o-lanterns with the grand kids

2. Go for a drive up the canyon with the hubs, take a picnic and gather colorful leaves

3. Plan Harvest Fest... an annual event with the family to celebrate the end of harvest

4. Make scarecrows with the kids and grand kids

5. Birthday lunch with a favorite sister to celebrate both our birthdays (one week apart)

6. Create a Homestead Christmas Shutterfly book 

7. Plan this year's three-day Homestead Inn Christmas at Midway

8. Decorate Home for Fall Holidays

9. Visit Mom and Dad's grave

10. Cook up Halloween treats, a new Autumn dish, and make desserts that include pumpkin and apples... yummm!

Beautiful Fall Leaves... Sardine Canyon

Harvest Fest

We usually center Harvest Fest around a theme. One year we did Pirates. The kids had to follow a treasure map. When they got to the bottle of (root)beer. They had to sing 20 bottles of beer on the wall, while dancing around the tree. At the end of the hunt, they had to dig up a treasure box filled with coins, necklaces, and other pirate treasures. It was a very fun year. We also do a Spooky Hollow Forest walk through the orchard where they follow clues from a story to collect prizes as they encounter graveyards and bones, bats and ghosts, and a witch at the end. They have to grab their last prize from the witch's hut and run to the tractor and trailer that is filled with straw bales. Grandpa then takes them on a hay ride back to the barn. Harvest Fest is one of the big things I look forward to in the Fall.

Fall is my favorite season. I love to decorate the house, porch, and yard with gourds, pumpkins, leaves, and candles. A daughter, who is very creative with florals, made me the beautiful Fall wreath for my door. The witch in the center is my daughter-in-law who played the witch at the end of the Spooky Hollow Forest walk.

Homestead Inn Christmas

This is a big event that we do every five years. We take the family to the Homestead Resort in Midway for three days, just before Christmas. We ice skate, ride the Polar Express, tube, sleigh ride, play games, play in the snow, and exchange gifts around the Christmas tree. On Sunday, before going home, everyone dresses in their best and we go to Sunday Brunch together. I am looking forward to this year's family Christmas at the Homestead and can't wait to finalize the plans.

As you can tell, all my favorite things center around family! 

Writing prompt #5:  Fall is here! List your 10 favorite things about this Fall  

Be still... and listen

You always knew when dad was deep in thought when he put a weed or a toothpick in his mouth.  He would mill it around from one side to the other, never talking, just thinking.  You may wonder where the lesson comes in.  

Dad has since passed from this life, but the many lessons he taught me are forever burned deep into my heart and character. He was not a man of many words, but nonetheless, there was always something valuable to be learned. One lesson dad taught me...

                                                        be still... and listen

My memory takes me back about 16 years ago.  I was older then. The youngest daughter and I  took the two and half hour trip home to visit my parents for the weekend, which I did occasionally. Dad was an "outdoors" man.  Always busy doing something.  He had since retired from the DWR, but still had his fingers in a "big game" project.  He was raising a herd of big horn sheep which he pastured behind the house.  A chicken coop and horse stall was recently built on the west side of the pasture. Hay bales were somewhat stacked into a large square block just north of the coop.  After feeding the sheep and doing other odds and ends around the farm, dad pulled a weed out of the ground, put it in his mouth, and plopped down on the hay stack.  I was watching him out the window of the house and decided to join him.  

The sun was just beginning to set when I joined him on the haystack. I sat next to him.... that's all.  I looked at him, weed in mouth, soaking up the beauty around him. That's all I needed! There was the love. We both sat there, for the longest time, not speaking a word. Enjoying each other's company as we soaked up the sights and sounds around us. The cool slight breeze of the early evening air, the orange hues of the setting sun over Pinacle Peak, the baaing of sheep as they settled down for the night, crickets chirping.  We were connected... to nature, to each other.  It felt good! Dad taught me the principle of gratitude. To love and respect nature.  I may not put a weed in my mouth, but the the lesson dad taught me to be still and... listen! will always remind me to stop once in awhile, ponder, and reflect on the beauty of the earth and blessings in my life.  Dad... will always be at the top of my thankful list.  Wish you were here.  Happy Fathers Day!